There's No Crying in Baseball

Every year since 1998, I have revered April 3rd as a day of importance and remembrance. April is typically a good month for me every year as the weather is starting to grow warm and I feel a certain sense of renewal. It also typically marks the beginning of Major League Baseball. Most importantly, however, April 3rd was the birthday of my Grandpa Howard, the most diehard baseball fan I've ever had the privilege of knowing. Not a year goes by that on April 3rd I don't think of him. Sometimes it's hard to fathom he hasn't been walking on this earth for over 10 years.

My grandfather was an extremely sick man at the end of his life. He was a prisoner in his own home, tangled among the tubes that kept him to his ventilator and kept him clinging to life. I remember being afraid to get to close to him, as though my mere presence could crush him. Instead, I often joined him in the prison cell of a living room he lived in and watched the Chicago Cubs play on WGN. Thus began my baseball education and deep conversation. Well, as deep of conversation that any girl from age five to twelve is capable of making.

After he passed away, I've looked forward to baseball season. Baseball season is an anchor that holds steady from April to October. Baseball reminds of me simpler times, of happier times, of times where the world wasn't asking too much of me. There are few activities I enjoy more in the summer than hearing the crack of a wooden bat, the smell of leather gloves, and the general splendor that is feeling time pass a little slower than usual.

As I've grown older, the sport has gotten away from me. Summertime became devoted to work and school. As I become increasingly jaded about my life at the moment, I've rediscovered the solace I find in the game and the memories of my grandfather. There are days I wish he could offer me just one more piece of advice about growing up. I wish that I had come to know more people who lived as simply as he did. I wish we could watch one more baseball game together.

This obviously isn't a timely entry as April 3rd has come and gone. However, I've decided to dust this blog off and hopefully re-introduce myself to another love in my life: writing, even if it's only to my benefit.